At long last the moment we had all been waiting for (slight generalisation) finally arrived; a well known German supermarket arrived on the island and what a reception they received! I just so happened to be at a loose end on the first day of trading on the 4th of November so I decided to have a look at what was on offer. I parked up at 7:45am and grabbed a brand spanking new trolley and stood in the short queue which was not getting longer by the minute as I had expected. I met somebody who I had seen a couple of years ago at a friend’s house. He was there for one thing and that was it; a petrol powered chainsaw. He was a man of course much like me living in the 21st century, but unlike me he was insistent that he didn’t do the shopping seeing as that’s his wife’s job. We killed time until 8:00am when the doors finally opened to a big cheer. Organised chaos ensued as doddery 70-somethings clattered trolleys and made snide remarks under their breath, all trying to get through the entrance at once. The Christmas sale mentality was put into motion as the race to the non-food section began; the opening day offers were indeed special. I took my time as I merely wanted to browse. The scene which confronted me as I approached from the quiet, foods-section could only be described as bedlam. There were packets of ladies-wear being opened and discarded, oversized boxes being manoeuvred onto trolleys, shoppers barging other shoppers, shouts of joy and despair from others as the last pack of cheap cotton underwear got snapped up. The aisles in that area were now no-go areas and you would not voluntarily, trust your shins to the frenzied mob, who were seemingly devouring everything in their path; it reminded me of a plague of locusts making short work of a corn field, but with bigger teeth!
After moving away from the mob I took a stroll around and dropped some keenly priced goods into the trolley. On my travels I caught sight of the ‘chainsaw man’ who by this time had not only purchased his bargain but lo and behold there was real food shopping in his trolley! I didn’t make eye contact because I couldn’t be bothered with the idle chat and besides I didn’t want to embarrass the macho man inside him. I made my way to the checkout where the first customer had just passed through and I could hear a commotion from outside. After I had paid and begun to exit I noticed a throng of people outside the store making themselves heard and complaining to the security staff who were preventing any more shoppers from entering. There were no more trolleys left which of course made me a target as I exited... ‘quick, run for the hills!’ was my first thought but the young woman with babe in arms seemed harmless enough; I wished her luck... she was in for a rough ride.
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